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01/01/2009

FAQ: Dog Oil Press

Update (01/18/2009)

Here are a few key points that many contributors seem to be missing:

Dog Oil Press only publishes humor. Please do not send anything that's not funny.
Please do not send attachments.

All submissions must be 981 words or less.

For more details about what we're looking for, please read the rest of the FAQ.

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Q: What's an FAQ?
A: Don't be a smartass. 

Q: What is Dog Oil Press? 
A: A web-based publication that showcases a short work of dark humor each and every Saturday - except when it doesn't.

Q: Does the World Wild Interweb really need to be cluttered with yet another rinky-dink web-based publication?
A: Buzz off.

Q: What's with the name?
A: Nosey, aren't you? If you must know, it's taken from Oil of Dog, a short story by Ambrose Bierce.  
Q: What is dark or black humor? 
A: What's it to you? Wikipedia, ultimate arbiter of all things in the human experience, calls black comedy "a sub-genre of comedy and satire in which topics and events that are usually regarded as taboo are treated in a satirical or humorous manner while retaining its seriousness." Fair enough. More of that here. For a great example of the form, check out the story mentioned above, one of a quartet by Bierce known as The Parenticide Club. Or try The Anthology of Black Humor. Or don't, if you don't want to.

Q: What type of submissions are you looking for? 
A: Funny - first and foremost. If it's not funny, don't send it. Really. It should also be in line with the somewhat nebulous criteria for dark humor, as discussed above. Fiction, nonfiction, poetry - or whatever. 981 words or less (yes, including the title).  

Q: What about naughty words and/or racy and/or offensive content?
A: Given the nature of dark humor, it's likely that it will tend toward being at least a bit offensive. If the racy/naughty junk is absolutely integral to the piece, bring it on. But it's probably not.

Q: Is this a paying publication? 
A: Barely. The fee for published pieces is $10 (payable only by PayPal) for first rights, as well as the right to archive the piece at the Web site. A paltry sum, but surely better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

Q: Where should I send submissions? 
A: Anywhere you want. But if you'd like them to be considered for publication in Dog Oil Press, they must be sent as plain text in the body of an email (no attachments) to submit [at] dogoilpress.com. 

Q: Is guava a doughnut?
A: Go away.

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Your Amazon recommendation (at right) is "How To Talk to Girls." LOLOLOL! Please tell me that was intentional!

Unless he "Bierced" Harte first.

"If Ambrose Bierce and Bret Harte were going to fight, who do you think would win?"

It's obvious - Bierce would die of a "Harte attack!"

If Ambrose Bierce and Bret Harte were going to fight, who do you think would win?

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