Gina commented on 'FAQ: Dog Oil Press'

2010-08-17T23:01:25Z

I'm very disappointed that you skirted the question about the meaning of life. It's quite a cop-out on your part. I don't know how you sleep at night. I might suspect you don't know the meaning of life. However, I am too astute to fall for that. I think you know it well, but are hogging it to yourself and depriving the rest of the world. This is not actually an accusation, just a theory. I think I can state with some authority that you didn't share your crayons as a child. Maybe I already know the meaning of life; maybe I am an expert on the subject. Maybe if you had answered the question, I would have spotted any errors right away in your conclusions. Maybe it's lack of confidence that motivated you. Maybe you are afraid your meaning of life is inaccurate and fraught with contextual inconsistencies, and that someone like me would point that out, much to your embarrassment. However, it so happens I am not an expert on the subject, so you would have been safe to divulge the secret. I would not have critiqued you. What kind of monster do you take me for? Don't you know I am brimming with compassion and tolerance? Ah, it saddens me to realize you don't know me as well as you should. And after all the minutes I have spent writing this response, too! You break my heart. Still, I admire you and hold you in high regard. In fact, I intend to tell no one of this awkward exchange between us. Let's just mend the fences and agree that you have a right to withhold the meaning of life. But, let's further stipulate that it is selfish. I will forgive you and you can forgive me for questioning you, and our lives can go on as normal. In fact, I think now that we have cleared the air, we will both feel more comfortable and find the deep inner peace we have sought for so long within our relationship. I do like your answer to where to send submissions. Now THAT was clever. You big lug! I just love ya!

Hal Kempka commented on 'FAQ: Dog Oil Press'

2009-12-30T00:57:18Z

Either that or Harte would die from drinking to many Bierce.

Aidan Watson-Morris commented on 'FAQ: Dog Oil Press'

2009-11-07T01:31:02Z

I can answer the last question easily.

42.

Problem solved.

Kendra commented on 'FAQ: Dog Oil Press'

2009-01-09T00:14:38Z

Your Amazon recommendation (at right) is "How To Talk to Girls." LOLOLOL! Please tell me that was intentional!

Kirsten Anderson commented on 'FAQ: Dog Oil Press'

2009-01-10T03:47:13Z

Unless he "Bierced" Harte first.

Jim Hartley commented on 'FAQ: Dog Oil Press'

2009-01-07T15:07:30Z

"If Ambrose Bierce and Bret Harte were going to fight, who do you think would win?"

It's obvious - Bierce would die of a "Harte attack!"

Skippy commented on 'FAQ: Dog Oil Press'

2009-01-05T19:52:29Z

If Ambrose Bierce and Bret Harte were going to fight, who do you think would win?