DOP #18: Hey Trent

Hey Trent
by Ryan Dilbert

Hey Trent, 
I’ve paid the light bill. Your half is $38.31. Thanks. See you when I get home.
-Dave

Trent, 
I am bringing a girl over tonight. If you are around, please do not wear the Care Bear costume again. And can you please do something about the smell in your room? Later. 
-Dave

Hi Trent, 
Though I appreciate the effort, really I do, no amount of Febreze is going to kill that smell. You’re not doing taxidermy in there are you? Remember our talk last week?
-Dave

Okay Trent, 
First off, you got to stop feeding my cats crème brûlée. It is giving them the runs. Also, I’m not paying for all the bills again. Just give me whatever you have for now.  
-Dave

Trent, 
I don’t know what scenario I am hoping for more; either you were screwing some girl last night who barks like a seal when she 
orgasms or you actually have a seal in your room. I’m not going to check. I shouldn’t have to.  
-Dave

DUDE!
You have a frigging seal! In the apartment! And it’s wearing my sweater! What the hell?
-Dave

Hi Trent, 
I truly appreciate that you took care of the seal problem so quickly. But at the risk of sounding like a nag, our fridge
is now full of nothing but Ziploc bags full of blubbery gray meat. This is just unacceptable. Also did you eat my Indian 
food?
-Dave

Trent, 
You can’t pay the bills with Trents or any other currency you make on the computer.
-Dave

Ryan Dilbert has unsuccessfully tried out for the Houston Astros, Hogwarts School of Wizardry and the Wu-Tang Clan. His work can be seen in FRiGG, Bartleby-Snopes, White Whale Review, and decomP

   

Comments

[scott (to the) K]

big D, LOVED it and i think trent was a roomie of mine in college, F'in a-hole!

[shome]

Hilarious--really enjoyed it, Ryan. As always, looking forward to reading more of your stories.