Conversations During A Cyclone And A Flood
by Kuzhali Manickavel
S- Someone told me that cyclones are like the common cold.
K- Like there is no cure for them.
S- Like they keep coming back. A cyclone is not going to say, Oh, I came here already, I guess I'll go hit Bangladesh instead.
K- Cyclones always hit Bangladesh.
S- Can you can see the sun?
*****
K- The sun is gone. Electricity's gone. And I found these incense sticks that smell like marijuana.
S- All coastal areas are being evacuated.
K- What do they do with evacuated people?
S- Put them in government schools.
K- I saw this show once where pedophiles kept disguising themselves as schools. They showed these kids walking home but the school was following them and nobody noticed because it was a school.
S- How much incense do you have going there?
K- Lots.
*****
S- It's called Nisha.
K- Who?
S- The cyclone. It's sitting over Pamban. It's been sitting over Pamban for the last 16 hours.
K- Why would anything sit over Pamban for 16 hours?
S- I thought Pamban was a brand name for cooking oil.
K - If you were having second thoughts about suicide, all you'd have to do is sit in Pamban for 16 hours.
S- It's sitting over Pamban, not in Pamban.
K- You know, sometimes this incense smells like marijuana and sometimes it smells like burnt milk.
S- It’s just sitting there and that's why you're flooding.
K- I'm flooding?
*****
S- Can you open the door?
K- Wouldn't that let the water in?
S- Right. OK, you need to think positively. Don't let the flood bring you down.
K- The water looks like coffee.
S- This is the perfect time to do something constructive. Like crochet.
K- I'm going to get some coffee.
*****
K- I have no coffee but I did have a thought. Wouldn't it be neat if you could keep little white cows in your kitchen cupboards? Not very big cows, just the size of kiddens.
S- Kiddens?
K- Mini cats. Felines of very small size.
S- Kittens.
K- Yes.
S- You need to put that incense out.
K- And then I was thinking how you can actually keep chickens in your cupboards but you can't do that with a lot of animals.
S- Right.
K- Like whales, for example.
*****
S- The cyclone is now brutalizing parts of Andhra Pradesh. Sun is shining?
K- Sun is shining. Everything smells bad and there's suddenly all these birds.
S- They probably came with the flood. Is the water going down?
K- Yeah, but I hate these birds. There's this supercockyf***er that keeps flying around here. If there's one thing I can't stand it's an arrogant bird.
S- Do you have a gun?
K- Why?
S- You could shoot the supercockyf***er bird.
K- I'm going to go find a rock.
*****
S- Will you qualify for flood relief? I heard you get money and free rice.
K- If your house washes away you get way more stuff.
S- Well, maybe next time.
K- I think my neighbors are yelling at me about the window.
S- What window?
K- I broke their window when I threw a rock at the supercockyf***er bird. What if my neighbors get violent?
S- Are they a violent people?
K- Well, they are non-vegetarians. And once I saw this cat in their yard and then it wasn't in their yard anymore so I think they ate it.
S- I think you should take a rock with you.
K- If I don’t call back in an hour, will you call the police?
S- No.
K- Ok.
S- Good luck with that rock.
Kuzhali Manickavel's debut collection 'Insects Are Just Like You And Me Except Some Of Them Have Wings' is available from Blaft Publications Pvt. Ltd. and can be found at Amazon.com. Her work can also be found at Subtropics, Per Contra, anderbo, Quick Fiction, Caketrain and The Café Irreal. She lives in a small temple town on the coast of South India.
Comments