The zoo animals have escaped and taken an apartment. The day after they get loose, they are all lounging around watching television. They are watching CNN; a tall black man and an old, wizened white man are trading insults. A wallaby and an orangutan are sitting on the sofa eating peanuts. A dik-dik and a zebra are watching over their shoulders. The wallaby thumps his tail on the carpet when the elderly man crosses the stage and punches the black man in the balls. The chimpanzees are watching, too, and they howl with delight.
A dwarf cayman and fly river turtle chortle and nod their heads. A mandrill baboon turns his butt to the screen. The fruit bats flutter back and forth in front of the TV screeching. The black man calls the white man a honky. The old fellow wants to mix it up. He puts up his fists and circles the black man who guards his pretty face with his forearms.
Next a blonde woman in a pants suit enters. She spots the black man, crosses the stage, and throws her arms around him. "Take me," she says. "I'm yours!" "No, you ain't!" the black man says. He pries her hands loose and runs off stage.
The blonde woman circles around behind the elderly man and bites him on the ankle. "Help!" he yells. "It's a terrorist attack!" He runs off stage.
The blonde woman stands at center stage, beaming at the audience. "When I am President..." she says.
The animals yawn. The African penguin falls asleep. "Let's turn off the TV and order pizza!" yells the tiger. The fruit bats chitter in agreement. "No. Turn on National Geographic. Let's watch something civilized," says the elephant. The animals compromise and pop popcorn and watch the Disney channel. When they go to bed that night, they all have sweet dreams except the laughing gull who gets the giggles and can't sleep.
Jack Swenson is a binge writer. He needs help. He has tried Writer's Anonymous, but it didn't work. Any ideas? Please do not suggest joining a church or getting a job. Thank you.
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