Dog Oil Press publishes a new original piece of black humor every Saturday, with the exception of the last Saturday of each month. Rather than leave you with nothing today, we'll go with a piece from Irvin S. Cobb, a quite humorous humorist who was active in the early part of the last century.
Teeth is an excerpt from Cobb's book Cobb's Anatomy. It describes a visit to the dentist in a somewhat unpleasant manner. Chew some aluminum foil while you read it or scroll down for a truly cringealicious excerpt from the movie Marathon Man. Is it safe?
Teeth
by Irvin S. Cobb
One of the most pleasant features about being born, as I conceive it, is that we are born without teeth. I believe there have been a few exceptions to this rule — Richard the Third, according to the accounts, came into the world equipped with all his teeth and a perfectly miserable disposition; and once in a while, especially during Roosevelt years, when the Colonel's picture is hanging on the walls of so many American homes, we read in the paper that a baby has just been born somewhere with a full set, and even, as in the case of the infant son of a former member of the Rough Riders, with nose glasses and a close-cropped mustache. This, however, may have been a pardonable exaggeration of the real facts. As I recall now, it was reported in a dispatch to the New York Tribune from Lover's Leap, Iowa, during the presidential campaign eight years ago.
Read more at Project Gutenberg.
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