Dog Oil Press

Happy Anniversary To Us

(As of yesterday, we're one year old. Thanks to everyone who's contributed and visited the site thus far. Please keep those cards and letters coming. Here's the press release we put together to make it seem like we're important and high-falutin' and all that.)

Dog Oil Press Marks Anniversary Of Bringing Dark Humor To The Masses

Online publisher of black humor celebrates its one-year anniversary in January, 2010.

For Immediate Release 
December 5, 2009 -- An esteemed gentleman by the name of Danish Proverb once said, "It is a great art to laugh at your own misfortune." To which the publishers of Dog Oil Press say - well, no. Not at all. It's actually a great art to laugh at the misfortunes of others and a helluva lot more fun.

Dog Oil Press Extreme Bodily Harm Humor Contest

Contest Update: 08/10/2009

Thanks to those who entered the Dog Oil Press Extreme Bodily Harm Humor Contest. Due to the very low rate of participation, the contest has been cancelled. All entry fees and PayPal transaction fees have been refunded in full. 

This one goes in the books as a life lesson learned. We'll be leaving the writing contests to others for now and will stick to our regular publishing schedule, bringing you the finest works of black humor we can lay our hands on.

State Of The Press Address

First of all, a big thanks to our readers and to everyone who's sent a funny to Dog Oil Press. We launched at the beginning of 2009 and are poised to publish our 19th weekly installment of black humor, with many more to follow. 

If the notion of extreme bodily harm sets you to giggling and you have a flair for stringing words together, you'll doubtless want to stay tuned for the Dog Oil Press Extreme Bodily Harm Humor Contest. It rolls out very soon and will feature actual cash prizes.

If you're keen to submit to the regular edition of Dog Oil Press, find out more on how to go about it here and here. We are a (modest) paying market.

In other news, Dog Oil Press is moving to a new publishing schedule. Because this little dog and pony show is self-funded and doesn't really generate any income yet, we're sticking with our usual Saturday publishing schedule, but will be skipping the last Saturday of each month. 

Which is not to suggest that we're struggling or about to go under. We're not. There are plenty of worthwhile bits of black humor in the pipeline with more arriving all the time. We plan to be here for a while and we hope you'll check back frequently. If you like what you see, please do what you can to help us get the word out.

FAQ: Dog Oil Press

Updated (08/10/2009)

Here are a few key points that are often overlooked by potential contributors to Dog Oil Press:

Dog Oil Press only publishes black humor. Please don't send anything that's not funny.
Please don't send attachments.
All submissions must be 981 words or less.

For more details about what we're looking for, read on.

Q: What's an FAQ?
A: Don't be a smartass. 

Q: What is Dog Oil Press? 
A: A web-based publication that showcases a short work of dark humor each and every Saturday - except when it doesn't.

Q: Does the World Wild Interweb really need yet another rinky-dink web-based publication?
A: What's it to you?

Q: What's with the name?
A: Not that's it's any of your beeswax, but it's taken from Oil of Dog, a short story by Ambrose Bierce.

Q: What is dark or black humor? 
A: Who wants to know? Wikipedia, ultimate arbiter of everything in the human experience, calls black comedy "a sub-genre of comedy and satire in which topics and events that are usually regarded as taboo are treated in a satirical or humorous manner while retaining its seriousness." Fair enough. More of that here. For a great example of the form, check out the story mentioned above, one of a quartet by Bierce known as The Parenticide Club. Or try The Anthology of Black Humor. Or don't, if you don't want to. We can't make you.

Q: What type of submissions are you looking for? 
A: Funny - first and foremost. If it's not funny, don't send it. Really. It should also be in line with the somewhat nebulous criteria for dark humor, as discussed above. Fiction, nonfiction, poetry - or whatever. 981 words or less (yes, including the title).  

Q: What about naughty words and/or racy and/or offensive content?
A: Given the nature of dark humor, it's likely that it will tend toward being at least a bit offensive. If the racy/naughty junk is absolutely integral to the piece, bring it on. But it's probably not.

Q: Is this a paying publication? 
A: Barely. The fee for published pieces is $10 (payable only by PayPal) for first rights, as well as the right to archive the piece at the Web site. A meager sum, indeed, but it sure beats having your eyeballs gnawed out by a wolverine.

Q: Where should I send submissions? 
A: Anywhere you want. But if you'd like them to be considered for publication in Dog Oil Press, they must be sent as plain text in the body of an email (no attachments) to submit [at] dogoilpress.com. 

Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: Don't start with me.